Black Friday Confuses Me

I've discussed this before, but apparently, I'm going to have to discuss it again. Because somewhere along the line, someone isn't quite getting it. I'm not sure if it's just me that doesn't get it or if it's just the throngs of apparent lunatics who don't get it. But it's definitely one of us. I'm speaking of this absolutely insane "tradition" of Black Friday.

First of all, given as how we're sooooo enlightened and politically correct these days, I'm surprised that someone has allegedly (probably loudly) that calling it Black Friday is racist. You'd think that we would have heard that by now, especially considering all of the other ridiculous things that we have to hear about as being racist. But we don't. And for that ONE little thing, I am glad.

For the rest of it? Yeah, not so much. I'm sure you know the drill. The Friday after Thanksgiving is when the Christmas shopping season "officially starts". And on that Friday, most major retailers (and I'm sure the minor ones as well) offer some pretty good deals on some of their items. The key is that the bargain is only for a limited time and that time is usually a couple of hours. Thus, that has morphed into another new "tradition" of people lining up outside of stores DAYS before they open and camping out to get the best deals. That's right. CAMPING. OUT. Oh, let me tell you this: I would kill, we're talking murder, for that sort of time.

Here's what/who I don't get: You folks at the back of the line. What are you doing? What are you hoping for? Seriously. Those things that have great prices on them that you think that you want? Yeah, you realize that there are only like one or two of those at every store and your chances of getting one, being as how you're 275th in line, are completely zero. Not even slim to none. No. Zero. So why are you there? What do you want?

Is it the thrill of the hunt? Everything that you could possibly want at a good enough price to make it worth standing at the end of the line in the middle of the night is going to be gone when you get in there. How much of a saving is worth that to you people? Look, if 56-inch, flat-screen TVs were on sale for $100 each, that would be worth something, I will agree with you on that one. But they're not. And even if they were, there would only be one or two of them and they would be GONE by the time that you folks who are at the end of the line (that has now wrapped around the block) get up there. The deals are good, but they're really not THAT great unless you're planning on spending a boatload of cash. I read an article online this morning (can't remember where, otherwise I'd link to it) about a woman who had been at the tail end of one of those lines for hours. Hours. And what did she finally end up buying when she made it into the store? Well, it certainly wasn't anything that she had hoped to get because they were all out by the time that she shoved her way in. No, she ended up buying a Candyland game for four dollars.

::: blink ::: ::: blink :::

What does a game of Candyland cost when it is NOT on sale? Eight dollars? Six? I really don't know (even though I loved that game as a child), but I know that I would be willing to pay full price for Candyland as opposed to standing outside in the frigid cold for hours upon hours to get one for the low, low price of four dollars. Are times THAT tough? They can't be.

But some folks really must want that Candyland game, as evidenced by the ridiculous near stampede that occurred at the Buffalo, NY Target store in (you guessed it) Buffalo, NY. Who are you people who just push your way through even though someone has obviously fallen and is about to be trampled to death? I want you found and tarred and feathered in the town square. Or, better yet, I want you be lying on the ground as a crazed mob bears down upon you and you're moments from death if someone doesn't step up and help you. Granted, you people that kept on going, I would really like it if you were trampled to death, but that's just me. There's video of this madness below so that you can see for yourself. If the video doesn't work, try clicking here.

And one final note: Have you people never heard of the Internet? How great is shopping online? You can be drunk as a skunk, sans pants, still eating leftover turkey and still get what you need/want without leaving the comfort of your home AND without nearly being trampled by a bunch of savages at your local Target store. That's right. The Internet. Check it out. You'll love it.